I Don't Wanna Be 85

Madi, Sinan, Fabian, and I listen to a lot of music, and we all have pretty different music tastes. The camp truck has a CD player, so we have bought a few CDs. Naturally, it’s difficult to find a song, let alone, an entire album that all of us like, so finding a CD that three of us like, and one of us tolerates, is a pretty good compromise.

A few weeks ago, I shared the album “The Good Parts” by Andy Grammar with Madison, and she surprised me by buying the CD for us. The song "85" stands out to me every time I listen, because I can relate to many of the lines.

"There is a lie that I believed The more that I got, the more I'd be free, free, free, free So I've been away, making the green See, the more that I get, the more that I need, need, need, need

So pray for my, pray for my, pray for my soul I got a, caught a disease, and it's gold Caught it so easy like the common cold, ooh, ooh Tossing and tossing and turning around Trying and trying to sweat it all out Kicking the habit that's pulling me down, ooh, oh

I don't wanna be eighty-five, singing "Oh, no, I think I missed it, I was chasing money" I don't wanna be eighty-five, singing "Oh, no, I got a big house, but my heart is ugly" You can't take it with ya, and your whip ain't gon' miss ya So wipe off that window, see the bigger picture now I don't wanna be eighty-five, singing "Whoa, no, I think I missed it, I was chasing money"

I don’t know what I want to do in the future, but I do know I want to serve others, work with people, and love deeply. I don’t want to get lost in a selfish pursuit of excellence. I don’t want to chase dreams that are not my own. I don’t want to waste my gifts in a career that is too easy for me. One could say, “I don’t wanna be eighty-five, singing ‘Oh, no, I think I missed it, I was chasing money.’”

So, I brought up this idea with Madison, and I told her my concerns of the world that we live in. I feel pressured to have a life plan, to know where I am going to school, what I will dp, what organizations I will support. All the plans I should have have one thing in common, they’re all about me. What school will I choose? Where will I live? Who will I love? What will I do?

The disease Grammer refers to in this song might be the pursuit of wealth, but I think that’s only part of the disease that plagues young people. Today I face selfishness and egotism. Everything in my life can be about me. All those questions I am asking myself everyday, they affect others, yes, but at the end of the day, it’s all about me. All of us face this disease, and in the world we now live in, “I caught it so easy, like the common cold.”

Camp Restore is my vaccine. The volunteers remind me that others also want to serve people and give their time. The staff tells me stories about how important it is to talk to the volunteers because they offer a perspective of life I may never see again. We interns do a lot for the volunteers. We get up early to help prepare breakfast, clean up, play cards, plunge toilets, check inventory, refill paper towel rolls, find supplies, answer questions, etc, It’s not about us. It’s not about me. It’s about the volunteers and we do all we can to facilitate the best service experience we can for them.

Just yesterday, I asked our supervisor if we could just order corn hole bags instead of making them. Another staff person overheard my plea, and he jumped to my side by listing all these reasons we should buy the bags instead of make them, then once he got the go ahead, he immediately ordered them. I thanked him for ordering them for me and he said “I didn’t do it for you. I did it for the volunteers.”

Egotism is my disease. Camp Restore is my cure. Not everything is about me. This isn’t my world and I don’t want it to be all about me, so I’m thankful to be in a place where I am learning to share, serve, and give like I never have before.

Until next time, we're just living minute by minute....

Prayer Requests:

- Please pray for the safe travels of all the volunteers coming to and leaving Camp Restore

- Please pray for the health of Courtney's grandparents